One of the biggest problems I’ve had in my marriage is all the little
fights I have with my husband...the little fights about the little
things...the little things that an hour later you wondered why they
were such a big deal in the first place.
It’s unfortunate, but little fights result in big hurts. Big hurts that sometimes take hours or even days to heal.
It’s
those times when I wish I could just go back...let that little thing
go. Because if I had only known how awful I would feel afterwards, how
much emotional intimacy and love I would lose, and how my relationship
with my husband would be hurt, I never would have made such a fuss
about such a little thing.
In talking with other newlyweds, I
have found that I am not alone in this problem. When two people are
beginning a life together, they are bringing their differences to one
home...and there will be friction. I don’t believe it can really be
avoided. However, I believe that God teaches that that friction doesn’t
have to escalate to the point of discord.
How can we combat
this? I was listening to the radio the other day and heard this song to
which I related so much. “It's so easy to get lost inside a problem
that seems so big at the time; it's like a river thats so wide...it
swallows you whole.”
I think that we need to weigh our little
disagreements as far as their timing and importance. How important is
this problem in light of the lifetime of love that we are seeking with
our husbands? Ask yourself a question like “Will this really matter an
hour from now, or a day from now, or a week from now.” I think we
sometimes get so consumed, so swallowed up, not by the grievance of our
husband, but rather by our pride. We want to PROVE we are RIGHT and he
is WRONG!! And that’s why we yell and fuss and cry over something that
really doesn’t matter.
So next time you are tempted to be
upset with your husband, ask yourself the following question: “Is it
worth it? Is getting into an argument about this really worth the loss
of emotional intimacy and love that I am desiring with my husband?”
From my personal experience most of the time it really isn’t.
While you’re sittin’ 'round thinking 'bout what you can't changeAnd worrying about all the wrong things,Time's flying by, it’s moving so fast...You’d better make it count 'cause you can’t get it back!Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand,And what you've been out there searching for forever is in your hands...And when you figure out love is all that matters after allIt sure makes everything else seem so small!!
